Degenerate Life Lessons

To say we went through a lot this past year is a bit of an understatement. Hell, we were supposed to still be living abroad but you know what, things change. Life happens. Things don’t work like you plan them. You’ll never be in the place you think you will…unless you never take a chance and are standing still (which is cool you do you). To say we learned a lot this past year is an understatement. Here are the lessons we’ve learned. Take them, do what you want with them, who knows maybe we’ll help you avoid a weird situation…or maybe we’ll help you get into some weird situations like we have. How we don’t have our own TV show is beyond us.

So here we go, BRACE YOURSELVES

  • Don’t chug a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes: So here’s a tip, most places will let you take the bottle of wine that you’ve opened home as long as they can reseal it for you. This being said, if you’re ever in an awkward situation you can just get the bottle of wine closed and take it to go. DO NOT DO WHAT WE DID! We had just gotten a bottle of wine and decided that it would be a good idea to split it half and half and finish it in under 2 minutes. Turns out that once you walk out of the restaurant you will have blacked out and will have to stop the cab after four blocks to vomit. You will also wake up in the morning and tell your roommate that you had a dream you vomitted in the living room only to go out there and realize that it in fact was real life and not a dream.
  • Travel will never be a bad idea: Unless you go into Syria or the United States right now then it might not turn out exactly the way you want it to. But hey, who knows.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
  • Ovaries over brovaries: So many times girls will choose guys over their girlfriends. This is a very bad idea. What happens when you get into a fight? Breakup? You will literally have no one to talk to and regret choosing a brovary (which isn’t even real by the way)
  • The grass is always greener: This is a cold hard fact that was really realized this year. While being in Canada we hated it and wanted to leave. After being in Thailand for a bit we missed the Canadian summers and all of the fun our friends were having. We hated living in Edmonton and always thought that Calgary would be a sweet place. When we first moved to Calgary we hated it and realized how great Edmonton was. (Note: We have since began to like it in Calgary so really the grass is always greener until you get used to a place and find your groove).
  • If you move away from from where the sports team is that you cheer for they will get infinitely better: Case in point: the Oilers. They sucked the whole time that we lived in Edmonton and now that we’re gone they’ll probably make the playoffs since we can’t go out and party as easily.Processed with VSCOcam with t1 preset
  • When in doubt nacho cheese it out: It’s the glue to our friendship
  • Read: There’s some rad books out there. We’re probably gonna start a cult this year after reading Helter Skelter.(Not a murderous cult though, just a fun cult)
  • Education is cool: It’s glaringly obvious when you’re uneducated about things
  • Dutch boys cant float: This is one of the weirder lessons that we learned this year. Apparently guys in general just suck at floating.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
  • Try to get as many green cards as possible: It’s nice to have the option of foreign husbands in every country. It’s even nicer to have friends in countries that you want to travel to.
  • Don’t drive in bus lanes: You will get a ticket.
  • Don’t speed: You will get a ticket.
  • You need to leave to realize what you have: Truer words have never been spoken. Canada is a magnificent country and we have a whole new respect for it now.img_0002
  • Trust your gut: Even though we have some funny stories, we could have avoided some situations if we didn’t ignore the feelings we had in our guts. Case in point: the town where we got sent to teach. Everything in us was telling us that it was wrong and you know what? It was.
  • You’re worth exactly what you think you are: Don’t let anyone try and tell you otherwise. You’re a strong independent lady! But seriously, you become what you think you are so why not think your fucking amazing.
  • Get a good best friend. your person: I don’t know where my life would be at if I didn’t have some of my best friends with me. It’s crazy how much some people can truly change your life.
  • Core values matter: Never work for a company whose core values don’t align with your own. We didn’t realize how true this was until we worked at company who tried to stress it’s core values yet did the opposite of them. Everything that they ended up doing was against everything we stood for and we just couldn’t handle it.
  • Always talk to seniors: They legit have the best stories you can ever imagine and you’ll probably regret not hearing them when they die. That’s why we’re gonna make super rad old ladies.
  • Ditch flakey people: Honestly, if people can’t commit to plans or being your friend you’ll soon realize how quickly they disappear from your life once you stop making an effort to see them.
  • Hike: You’ll never regret a hike. even if you get chased by a bear or tumble down the mountain you’ll still have a great story and will have likely seen a great view as well.
  • Porch crawl: Beer, vodka, and lemonade. what OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAmore could a person ask for? Maybe regaining a few nights they’ve lost from it but that’s about it.
  • Spontaneity is good to an extent: We would have been saved some troubles this year if we weren’t so spontaneous. We also vowed to not be as spontaneous this year. (It’s not working, we just booked another trip)
  • Calgary drivers are the worst in the entire world: This needs no explanation.

We learned a lot of lessons (most would have been avoided if we actually listened to what our parents told us) and these probably aren’t even half of them. Don’t make the same mistakes that we did. Or do, but don’t say we didn’t warn you.

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